Through Skys Eyes

Have a fabulous STRESS FREE day!!!!

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their arses. The results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their arse is too fat……….

10% of women think their arse is too skinny…….

The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s a good man, and they wouldn’t trade him for the world.

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Marketing - Its all in the words.. lol

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

‘Dr. Jones, at your cervix.’

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In a Podiatrist’s office:

‘Time wounds all heels.’

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

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On a Plumber’s  truck:

‘We repair what your husband fixed.’

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On another Plumber’s truck:

‘Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.’

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On a Church’s Bill board:

‘7 days without God makes one weak.’

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At a Tyre Store

‘Invite us to your next blowout.’

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On an Electrician’s truck:

‘Let us remove your shorts.’

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In a Non-smoking Area:

‘If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.’

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On a Maternity Room door:

‘Push. Push. Push.’

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At an Optometrist’s Office:

‘If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.’

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On a Taxidermist’s window:

‘We really know our stuff.’

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On a Fence:

‘Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!’

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At a Car Dealership:

‘The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.’

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Outside a Car Exhaust Store:

‘No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.’

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In a Vets waiting room:

‘Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!’

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In a Restaurant window:

‘Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.’

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

‘Drive carefully. We’ll wait.’

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And don’t forget the sign at a

RADIATOR SHOP:

‘Best place in town to take a leak.’

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Sign on the back of yet another

Septic Tank Truck:

‘Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises’

Well enjoy todays funnys… Check back tomorrow for more.

Ok so here I am at work, doing my usual boring office stuff i gotta do each day in and out. But its cool, cause thats what pays the rent.

I gotta seduction by Usher blasting in my head set.. damn that man is hot.. but anyways.. back to work..

I got myself repeating in my head “concentrate, concentrate” but for some reason my mind keeps wandering to sex.

Maybe it has something to do with the song thats blasting in my ears right now, or maybe it has something to do with Usher or  Maybe cause last night I went out on a date that didnt quite go as planned.

He wanted some, but its like he just out there with it. And that is the biggest turn off for me, I need passion, i need intimacy, I need kissing. God do I love kissing. but anyways back to this.

So i saw this article on Womens Health Magazine, called “56 reasons to have sex” well you know me, I only need 2 reasons, “when and where” but my mind was there , so i figured id have a read. and it had me laughing. The funny thing is, i read the comments after it, one particular guy said “More women need to read this”I think he probably thought if more women read this, he might have more chances of getting laid. which makes me laugh, cause its funny how a guy can never turn to him self and think “hmm maybe its me, maybe she just dont want to sleep with me, maybe im doing something wrong” instead the first thing a guy does is “there something wrong with that woman, or find some other excuse.”

But i thought i’d bring a couple of these points up or “reasons”to have sex. Cause I believe sex is an important and vital part of a relationship, especially if you want it to last. I mean if you sick of him, then so be it. but if you want to keep him or her, then you gotta make that other person feel special and there aint no better way to do that than by having a nice all nighter with that special person, phones off, bubbles in the bath, strawberries and cream, some champagne.. well i wont get to carried away.. but you dont need all those extras, just the two of you and the mood is enough.

For example one time my ex sent me txt message stating how he missed me etc and we hadn’t seen each other in days, so i knew he had the day off from work, so i took a half day left at lunch, headed over there and spent the day just in each other arms doing our secret dance under the sheets. there was nothing planned, or anything else but us, but it was beautiful.

So you don’t need props or anything, sometimes they can make things exciting, but so can the beach at night or the back seat of a car.. the sky is the limit, use the imagination.

Anyway I know i get carried away, but here are some of these reasons, that i liked:

• Apparently having sex makes you happier than money does. So if we all have sex then this economic crisis wont bug us no more lol.
• It also mellows our moods. so before going into some high pressure meeting where you know your going to crack, go call your partner up for a quickie.
• For all you constantly sick people, having regular sex boosts your immune system by 30% how they get that percentage, i dont know. but hey thats pretty cool.
• having sex releases an overload of endorphins and can alleviate pain from arthritis and menstrual cramps. Can i get an AMEN!!
• This one i love. Did you know that when men have sex, they are so filled with oxytocin that they are now at our level. So you know if you want him to propose or do something girly, you need to sleep with him and then start dropping hints, but do it quick cause that shit wears off.
• Here is the ironic part, apparently us women absorb some testosterone during sex, so we now no longer care about that girly shit. lol just joking.  but we do get an increase in energy levels from the testosterone.
• …And we get a firm butt, and tighter tummy. Kick those hours of torture at the gym to the curb.
• Did you know sex can save your mans life??? well ok not exactly the way your thinking, but it reduces his chances of suffering a heart attack or a stroke.
• Get flexible. Sex can help make you flexible and score that job as a snoop dogg back up dancer.
• You dont need to speak his language. Its great aint it. you have hot passionate sex, and you dont even need to speak to the guy. it dont matter if he speaks italian, spanish, chinese, canadian (lol) sex is sex.. in any language… “baby speak to me in french all you want… you cant say anything stupid to turn me off now.. cause i dont understand you” just heavenly aint it.. worse thing when you getting right into it and he just say something stupid.. like “did you cum yet?”or Äre you on the rag?” baby if i was on the rag, you would know about it by now.. you only just stuck your head down there 5 minutes ago..
• sex releases tension unless you sleep with a man that just spends the entire time saying stupid things.
• use it or lose it.. the more sex you have the more testosterone you produce which makes you feel like having sex. if you go with out sex for a while, then you wont feel like having sex cause you have very little testosterone. possible have low levels of energy and become more emotional or restless too.
• have a headache.. not any more.. have some horizontal pain relief.
• strengthen your core!! yes pilates people.. where do you think they get those damn moves from.. huh. well i dont have proof, but let me tell ya, i enjoy pilates much more when i got my partner with me.
• best excuse for pricey lingerie
• Active sex life slows the ageing process according to mr David Weeks.

So too bad im single now, cause now i have to go fishing.. but for all of you guys and gals not getting it on together and you have a partner… don’t make me come over and slap you!!! get over there, start with the kisses on the neck, then some more beautiful hot passionate kissing and close the door, turn of the phones, and get that prince record on . and start working on your pilates moves.

Till next time..

Sky the native diva signing out.. ..

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was ‘Onestone’.  He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
‘If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!’

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.  Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, ‘Good morning, Onestone.’

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
Made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made
love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the
next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn’t die!

What is the moral of this story????? you ask !

OH, Come on…take a guess!

Think about it…………

(You’re going to love this!)

Very simply, the moral is………………

YOU CANT KILL 2 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE

‘Twas was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode,
only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,
while visions of Playstation 2’s and Barbie, flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring in front of the TV,
with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
which made her sigh, “Now what’s the matter?”

With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,
she descended the stairs, and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
“Oh great,” muttered the mom, “Now I have to clean the rug.”

“Ho-ho-ho!” cried Santa, “I’m glad you’re awake.”
“Your gift was especially difficult to make.”
“Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone.”
“Exactly!” he chuckled, “I’ve made you a clone.”

“A clone?” she asked, “What good is that?
Run along, Santa, I’ve no time for chit-chat.”

The mother’s twin. Same hair, same eyes,
same double chin. “She’ll cook, she’ll dust, ”
she’ll mop every mess. You’ll relax, take it easy,
watch The Young & the Restless.” “Fantastic!” the mom cheered.
“My dream come true! “I’ll shop. I’ll read., I’ll sleep a whole night
through! ”

From the room above, the youngest began to fret.
“Mommy?! I scared… and I ‘m wet.”

The clone replied, “I’m coming, sweetheart.”
“Hey,” the mom smiled, “She knows her part.”
The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune,
as she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon.

“You the best mommy ever. ” I really love you.”
The clone smiled and sighed, “I love you, too.”
The mom frowned and said, “Sorry, Santa, no deal. ”
That’s my child’s love, she’s trying to steal.”

Smiling wisely Santa said, “To me it is clear, ”
Only one loving mother, is needed here.”

The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed.
“Thank you, Santa, ” for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget, it won’t be very long,
when they’ll be too old, for my cradle-song.”

The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone, “It works every time.”
With the clone by his side Santa said, “Goodnight.
Merry Christmas, Mom, You’ll be all right.

Author unknown

You Know You’ve Had Too Much Christmas Cheer When…

1. You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
6. You strike a match and light your nose.
7. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
8. You hear someone say, “Call a priest!”
9. You hear a duck quacking and it’s you.
10. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
11. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
12. You tell everyone you have to go home… and the party’s at your place.
13. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
14. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room… and realize you’re in front of the hall mirror.
15. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
16. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
17. You’re at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.
18. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
19. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
20. You realize you’re the only one under the coffee table.

I don’t know much, and i don’t claim to be wise or a ms know it all.

I can only write and share what i think, believe and feel.

This is something that has been in my heart for a long time, Something i have pondered over for an even longer time. I see so many women out there, especially my beautiful Indian Sisters, Mothers, Aunties and Grandmothers.

Sometimes I shake my head and wonder why they don’t realize these things, that i know and feel. Sometimes i feel things or understand things and expect everyone else to feel and understand these same things.
Maybe its time i tell them, they are so strong and blessed with good Wakan hearts.

Maybe i should tell them that they are special and the creators of the next generation.

Us women, we are a gift, and in being gifts we have been given gifts.

A man will only ever have one spirit. He will never have more than that. He is given glimpses of more, but it is never given to him.

But us sisters, we have been given power. We have the power to at any time have more than one spirit within us. This is our gift. Men understood this power, when sisters were in moon. They understood we had something they did not. This power was so strong that special arrangements were made so that the power would not interfere with the men.

Now we live in two worlds. And just as we could hold more than one spirit, we can also live in more than one world. We do not feel ashamed working for wasicu because when we come home, we are home and free. Our men are still not free, when they come home.

We have been blessed with this.

Our men still struggle with this. All that was theirs, all that defined them as Men has been taken away from them. The only thing that hasn’t been taken, is the ability to have children.

Our Men used to Hunt or Fish etc, Now they can not, if they do they must get a license and still they are told how much they can and how much they can not. Our men always knew how much and how much they should leave, they don’t need a piece of paper to tell them, making them feel small.

Our Men used to build our lodges, or provide food and clothing. Now they must slave at a job they do not understand or care for, to do the same and still, they struggle to keep the utilities on. When they work for wasicu they sometimes feel ashamed, that they must rely on this work for the little they get to provide for their families.

The men become ashamed and angry, they drink or get violent or both, they leave thinking it might fix the problem, and they realize this doesn’t work and they keep drinking and keep getting angry.

We have been blessed, because we still have many of the things that were in our lives before the wasicu, Preparing food, doing our quill work, Looking after our families, Looking after our men, sewing and practicing what the old ones taught us.

We can still look after our families, children and old ones and make them smile. We can help our children grow to become strong men and powerful women.

I had all this on my heart and i was reading a book. And unbelievably they were talking about the same thing i am saying above. It was very strange, since the book really didn’t have much to do with it.

Id like to quote some of it, this book is the words of an elder, when a friend gave me this book, i thought .. “here we go, some other plastic shaman claiming to have the answers to everything etc”, i was completely wrong. Its about an old man on the rez and he just shares a bit of his life and what he prays for, the future. Simple but very powerful.

This is what i came across and it blew me away, since i had been thinking about this in depth for days before reading it.

If honor had mattered, they would have won and we would still be strong and healthy as a people. But honor didn’t matter, Numbers mattered. They fought and lost. Now they still try to fight, Like grandpa is doing with words. But they are defeated.

It was taken from them. Everything. Your people did it. That’s the way it was planned, and it worked. You took their spirits and left them with shame. But no one paid any attention to us women. We kept things alive in our hearts and hands.

They ignored us, we were just women. But we were always the ones to keep the culture alive. That was our job, as women and mothers. It always has been. The men can’t hunt buffalo anymore. But we can still cook and sew and practice the old ways. We can still feed the old people and make their days warm. We can teach the children. Our men may be defeated, but our women’s hearts are still strong.

This is what i mean about it being our time - The Indian woman. We have always been at the center. The Indian family has been like a circle, and the woman has been at the center. White families have been like lines, with the men standing in front.

That’s why white women haven’t been able to understand us. They talk about sisterhood and liberation, but their struggle is not our struggle. We don’t need to get free. We need to free our men.

Things are different for us. We know who we are. We are Mothers. We are the bearers of our race. It gives us status to do other things. We are honored for what we are. If our men are treating us poorly, it is because they are shamed. Why should we want to set ourselves against them and call that liberation? Until they are free in their hearts again, none of us Indian people will be free.

All you see is the violence and the alcohol. All the white women see is the silence and the bruises. What we see is a broken circle, and we’re going to make it whole. This isn’t about men and women. This is about our whole culture and our ancestors and our children. White people always think of themselves first, and how to get your individual rights. We don’t. We think about the culture and how to make the people strong within it.

Thats what we’re doing. We’re building the culture. That’s our job. That’s why it’s our turn, now.

Dannie’s talk in the book Neither wolf, nor dog.

So women, never forget your are powerful. Our Families and Children Look up to you. Our men, Need you to help them be free. Our elders pass on to you.  Wakan Tanka blesses you with all these powers.

We are Women and We are strong.  Use this power for our people, to help them be free again.