Through Skys Eyes

The other day I was at the gym, doing my huge work out. Yes I do get off my butt from time to time and wobble myself down to the gym and hit that treadmill.lol

So there I was in my best work out clothes, walked the long walk down to the gym, I usually try and go there as quick as I can cause its a great warm up. I ran up the stairs the gym, by this stage im excited about getting to the gym, cause for me its a great stress reliever. Usually by the end of my work out I am so exhausted, that I cant even worry or stress about anything. I run up, say hi to the owners, do my regular chit chat i do, grab my bottle of water and run into the small womens gym room.

So I hit the on button of my treadmill, put my bottle of water and phone into the drink holder, turn my treadmill on at 4.5 miles per hour and start walking briskly on the treadmill.

The speakers is pounding out dance music, and im moving and grooving to the beat. I have the timer set to 15 minutes. constantly all that is going through my mind is every step i take is getting me closer to my ultimate goal. every step I take is getting me closer to my ultimate goal.

That day was a huge day, kids woke up late, work was hectic, people in an out of the office demanding something from me, get home and have clients from my designing business wanting this and that, kids wanting food, toys, hugs, complain and vent, my to do list is screaming at me from the fridge door, and it was all too much. In the end the gym to me felt like my only way out. I still hadn’t even sat down at home, i walked through the door, fixed the kids, took business phone calls, and answered emails at the same time, it felt as if i was never going to get a chance to sit down and relax.

So while i was on the treadmill i was trying to chant this so i wouldnt let that stress back in my head, but somehow stess has a way of getting in no matter what you do.

My chant started changing to, gotta get the kids uniforms washed by morning, - my daughter has swimming lessons tomorrow, etc

Its amazing how this happens. Even when you try to block it all out, it still creeps in. anyway I finished my 15 minutes on the treadmill and I didnt realize but I was sweating like I have never sweated before.

I had drips falling off my eyelashes and chin. So i was impressed and happy with my work out on the treadmill, i wiped my face, grabbed a magazine that had jenifer aniston on the front cover and sat on the work out bike. Looked for a half decent article to read, found one, had a couple of pictures in it, started pedalling on my bike, pressed the start button, set my time duration and level and i was off.

I began to read. OMG. Here I was complaining about my day, about the wonderful gifts I have in my life and that I at times dont realy appreciate and here is a woman, no correction - “SUPERWOMAN” who has had my worse nightmare happen to her and yet survived.

anyway this made me want to come here and share a little about this women. I cant remember her name but i will never forget her story.

This woman was going around the world teaching english, and on her teaching journey she landed a teaching job in Thailand. While teaching there for a few years, she met this man. He was wonderful, sincere, loving. His family welcomed her in to their home and he seemed like the perfect man. They got married in what was like a fairytale thailand style wedding.

Not long after they were having their first child she started feeling home sick. so she agreed with her husband, after the birth of their daughter they would go to Australia where she was from.

they had set up their home in australia, she had begun working regular hours and he had a job as well, not as great as hers but it was a job. Not long she was once again pregnant.  Soon she couldn’t work due to her pregnancy and he had the sole responsibility to bring the money home.

So basically from that point, they moved into a villa her father owned (her father lived next door), she gave birth to a boy and the relationship between her and her husband had begun to strain.

It wasnt long before he became abusive and that was the final straw. She told him to leave and took out restraining orders against him.

He constantly kept breaking his restraining orders, and she suffered constant threats that he was going to end his life and hers.

One night he had broken into the villa and raped her. in the morning she had the police over and they had asked her to go to the police station to file a report. Her father trying to support her, said “dont worry you go, I will stay here with the kids. ” she kissed and hugged her babies and went with the police officer to the station.

That was the final words she ever spoke with her father and children.

that was her final kiss and hug, never to receive another one like it again.

He had come while she was filing her report and killed, stabbed her children and her father, then himself.

She got to the drive way of her house, and there he was standing in the front lawn covered in blood. Her life had been turned over and changed forever.

I can only imagine what she felt and went through. to be honest I cant even imagine it. just trying to put myself in her shoes leaves me in tears.

Well I finished reading this article, mean while i was still pedalling 100 miles per hour, they ladies must have thought i was crazy cause her I am sweating like never before, and crying at the same time, and the speed of my bike changed with each sentence i read.

It really made me think and put life in perspective. This woman now helps others and has started her own organization in honour of her children. She has somehow turned this into a positive. When most cant even turn their troubled childhood to a positive, she has turned any mothers worst nightmare into something of beauty and love.

I finished my work out and constantly i had thoughts pop into my mind about what she went through, I just couldnt wait till i got home to my children.

I got home and sweaty, smelly and all grabbed both my children and kissed them, hugged them and carressed their sweet faces, they both just turned to me and said ” mom , you need a shower” .. it made me laugh and i realized then, that no matter how crazy they drive me, the love I have for them is unconditional and its a wonderful experience I have been gifted with.

Till next time

I have a good friend on myspace, his name is Ernie. He is also known as the Navajo Loan officer (He can do your assessment for a Home Loan, If you want to find him head over to nativeloans.com) Anyway, he sent me this and i laughed so hard, just what i needed to end the day.

Thought I’d share. His original email:

This evening; I’ll check out “Sheryl Crow” at the state fair, should be a great experience.

Here’s a joke that you could share with others’ of liberal minds…anyways…have a great day!

Eddies first-grade class was having a game of Name That Animal. The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, “What animal is this?”

“A cat!” said Suzy.

“Good job! Now, whats this animal?”

“A dog!” said Ricky.

“Good! Now what animal is this?” she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, “Its what your mom calls your dad.”

“A horny bastard!” called out Eddie.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Well hope you all enjoyed that, I thought it was quite funny. If you guys have any more jokes let me know about them, contact me through here or Myspace. And if you have a myspace, make sure you add me as a friend

I keep searching for the next big thing

the next big project

when all the while god has been

trying to show me that my big thing

were my kids…. YOU!

You have no idea what you mean to me

life would not be life with out you both

i’m not sure what i was before you two came into my life,,

but it sure wasnt living..

Tear stream down my face, when i

think of you to, cause i know how

much i love you and i see all the things i did wrong , it was like as if

i was trying to get away from you both

when all the time i should have been trying to get closer.

I used many things as destractions

didnt give you both the attention you both needed

did a whole lot of things wrong

and i wish with all my heart i could

turn back the hands of time and make it better

do things differently.

I write this today, because I smacked you today nicholas.

I know parents do this on a daily thing, but i dont. it makes me feel terrible whenever i reduce myself to that.

you may not realize this nick and i really hope you see this one day, but it hurt me too..

i walked outside and began to cry. came back inside to apologize and you were asleep.

sometimes i feel like i need to smack, but i really shouldnt.

I only smacked you on the bum and leg with my hand,

I got upset cause i asked you to go to bed like an hour ago and you kept stalling for time.

maybe you just wanted to spend more time with me. it was really cute when i come to think of it.

you two dont get to see many of the things i do

i cry for you both many times and i wish i could make everything better.

sometimes i wish i dont have to be so hard on you nick, but your a hardcase just like your momma. hahah

we are both stubborn and head strong, very rebellious .. two peas in a pod really.

so sometimes i feel i have to be harder on you to get you in line

i know you feel it son!.. dont think i dont. I know many times , i just want to hug you and say its ok..

but the truth is, in the real world there are many times when its not ok. and you have to strive through it all.

i need you to be a leader, show people how to care about one another and care for the animals. i know you have the biggest heart i have ever seen a person to have. you care about others like they are your family, and in truth, they are your family. and i know your like me, we both love our animals like they are family too.

And my beautiful daughter, dont think i have forgotten you.. how strong you are… oh girl! if only you could see how strong and beautiful you really are. you have been my rock so many many times..

you always help with the housework and the first to put her hand up when i need help. and you very rarely get a thank you or acknowledgement for what you do, but you dont let it bother you.

Let me say it here.. THANK YOU my DEAR BABY GIRL!

you always have a smile on your face and always seem to know when i need a hug.

Wow i have the two best children in the world, Even though i know i would rank in the worst parents list if i were to count all the mistakes i have made.. you guys still are turning out the best.

Well today we played touch gridiron at the park, and you both worked together and gave me a hell of a tackle. that was fun, then we came home and i was teaching you nick how to slow dance , it was sooo beautiful cause nick you didnt want to let go..but then you did and gave your sister a turn.. your such a gentleman..

just want you to remember, that I know i work alot and i am constantly busy with the house and routines, but we do have good times as well..

love you both with all of my heart.. all the love i have to give is always and always will belong to the both of you.

MOM

XXXXXOOOOO