Through Skys Eyes

I think i must have a thing for boyfriend or husband jokes, cause after re-reading many of my posts, they all seem to be that way inclined… sorry boys .. i really do care about you all.. honestly.. i do…

Well anyway, here is another one for all the girls out there..

When your husband, boyfriend or partner does something that makes you angry;

Don’t give in to the temptation

to argue, fuss and fight!

Just count to ten, remain calm & after he goes to bed,

Super-Glue his flip-flops (thongs) to the floor.

See below for illustration:

Have a fabulous STRESS FREE day!!!!

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their arses. The results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their arse is too fat……….

10% of women think their arse is too skinny…….

The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s a good man, and they wouldn’t trade him for the world.

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Marketing - Its all in the words.. lol

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

‘Dr. Jones, at your cervix.’

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In a Podiatrist’s office:

‘Time wounds all heels.’

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

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On a Plumber’s  truck:

‘We repair what your husband fixed.’

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On another Plumber’s truck:

‘Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.’

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On a Church’s Bill board:

‘7 days without God makes one weak.’

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At a Tyre Store

‘Invite us to your next blowout.’

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On an Electrician’s truck:

‘Let us remove your shorts.’

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In a Non-smoking Area:

‘If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.’

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On a Maternity Room door:

‘Push. Push. Push.’

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At an Optometrist’s Office:

‘If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.’

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On a Taxidermist’s window:

‘We really know our stuff.’

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On a Fence:

‘Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!’

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At a Car Dealership:

‘The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.’

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Outside a Car Exhaust Store:

‘No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.’

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In a Vets waiting room:

‘Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!’

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In a Restaurant window:

‘Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.’

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

‘Drive carefully. We’ll wait.’

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And don’t forget the sign at a

RADIATOR SHOP:

‘Best place in town to take a leak.’

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Sign on the back of yet another

Septic Tank Truck:

‘Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises’

Well enjoy todays funnys… Check back tomorrow for more.

Ok so here I am at work, doing my usual boring office stuff i gotta do each day in and out. But its cool, cause thats what pays the rent.

I gotta seduction by Usher blasting in my head set.. damn that man is hot.. but anyways.. back to work..

I got myself repeating in my head “concentrate, concentrate” but for some reason my mind keeps wandering to sex.

Maybe it has something to do with the song thats blasting in my ears right now, or maybe it has something to do with Usher or  Maybe cause last night I went out on a date that didnt quite go as planned.

He wanted some, but its like he just out there with it. And that is the biggest turn off for me, I need passion, i need intimacy, I need kissing. God do I love kissing. but anyways back to this.

So i saw this article on Womens Health Magazine, called “56 reasons to have sex” well you know me, I only need 2 reasons, “when and where” but my mind was there , so i figured id have a read. and it had me laughing. The funny thing is, i read the comments after it, one particular guy said “More women need to read this”I think he probably thought if more women read this, he might have more chances of getting laid. which makes me laugh, cause its funny how a guy can never turn to him self and think “hmm maybe its me, maybe she just dont want to sleep with me, maybe im doing something wrong” instead the first thing a guy does is “there something wrong with that woman, or find some other excuse.”

But i thought i’d bring a couple of these points up or “reasons”to have sex. Cause I believe sex is an important and vital part of a relationship, especially if you want it to last. I mean if you sick of him, then so be it. but if you want to keep him or her, then you gotta make that other person feel special and there aint no better way to do that than by having a nice all nighter with that special person, phones off, bubbles in the bath, strawberries and cream, some champagne.. well i wont get to carried away.. but you dont need all those extras, just the two of you and the mood is enough.

For example one time my ex sent me txt message stating how he missed me etc and we hadn’t seen each other in days, so i knew he had the day off from work, so i took a half day left at lunch, headed over there and spent the day just in each other arms doing our secret dance under the sheets. there was nothing planned, or anything else but us, but it was beautiful.

So you don’t need props or anything, sometimes they can make things exciting, but so can the beach at night or the back seat of a car.. the sky is the limit, use the imagination.

Anyway I know i get carried away, but here are some of these reasons, that i liked:

• Apparently having sex makes you happier than money does. So if we all have sex then this economic crisis wont bug us no more lol.
• It also mellows our moods. so before going into some high pressure meeting where you know your going to crack, go call your partner up for a quickie.
• For all you constantly sick people, having regular sex boosts your immune system by 30% how they get that percentage, i dont know. but hey thats pretty cool.
• having sex releases an overload of endorphins and can alleviate pain from arthritis and menstrual cramps. Can i get an AMEN!!
• This one i love. Did you know that when men have sex, they are so filled with oxytocin that they are now at our level. So you know if you want him to propose or do something girly, you need to sleep with him and then start dropping hints, but do it quick cause that shit wears off.
• Here is the ironic part, apparently us women absorb some testosterone during sex, so we now no longer care about that girly shit. lol just joking.  but we do get an increase in energy levels from the testosterone.
• …And we get a firm butt, and tighter tummy. Kick those hours of torture at the gym to the curb.
• Did you know sex can save your mans life??? well ok not exactly the way your thinking, but it reduces his chances of suffering a heart attack or a stroke.
• Get flexible. Sex can help make you flexible and score that job as a snoop dogg back up dancer.
• You dont need to speak his language. Its great aint it. you have hot passionate sex, and you dont even need to speak to the guy. it dont matter if he speaks italian, spanish, chinese, canadian (lol) sex is sex.. in any language… “baby speak to me in french all you want… you cant say anything stupid to turn me off now.. cause i dont understand you” just heavenly aint it.. worse thing when you getting right into it and he just say something stupid.. like “did you cum yet?”or Äre you on the rag?” baby if i was on the rag, you would know about it by now.. you only just stuck your head down there 5 minutes ago..
• sex releases tension unless you sleep with a man that just spends the entire time saying stupid things.
• use it or lose it.. the more sex you have the more testosterone you produce which makes you feel like having sex. if you go with out sex for a while, then you wont feel like having sex cause you have very little testosterone. possible have low levels of energy and become more emotional or restless too.
• have a headache.. not any more.. have some horizontal pain relief.
• strengthen your core!! yes pilates people.. where do you think they get those damn moves from.. huh. well i dont have proof, but let me tell ya, i enjoy pilates much more when i got my partner with me.
• best excuse for pricey lingerie
• Active sex life slows the ageing process according to mr David Weeks.

So too bad im single now, cause now i have to go fishing.. but for all of you guys and gals not getting it on together and you have a partner… don’t make me come over and slap you!!! get over there, start with the kisses on the neck, then some more beautiful hot passionate kissing and close the door, turn of the phones, and get that prince record on . and start working on your pilates moves.

Till next time..

Sky the native diva signing out.. ..

Men Are Just Happier People– What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.  Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Send this to the women who can handle it  and to the men who will enjoy reading it .

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was ‘Onestone’.  He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
‘If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!’

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.  Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, ‘Good morning, Onestone.’

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
Made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made
love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the
next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn’t die!

What is the moral of this story????? you ask !

OH, Come on…take a guess!

Think about it…………

(You’re going to love this!)

Very simply, the moral is………………

YOU CANT KILL 2 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE