Through Skys Eyes

On the first day, Wakan Tanka created the dog and said:

“Sit all day by the door of your lodge and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.

For this I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking.

How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”

So Wakan Tanka agreed.

On the second day, Wakan Tanka created the Monkey and said:

“Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I will give you a 20 year life span.”

The Monkey said: “Do Monkey tricks for 20 Years??

That’s a pretty long time to perform tricks and make people laugh. How about I give you back 10 years like the dog did?”

And Wakan Tanka agreed.

On the third day, Wakan Tanka created the Buffalo and said:

“You must go into the fields all day long, suffer under the heat and suffer the cold, have calves, give your meat for food and skin for warmth to support the people.

For this I will give you a life span of 60 years to do all this.

The buffalo said: “That is a very tough life you want me to life for 60 years. How about twenty years and I’ll give you back the other forty?”

And Wakan Tanka Agreed again.

On the fourth day, Wakan Tanka created man and said:

“Eat, Sleep, Play, Marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.”

But man said, “Only twenty years??

Could you possibly give me my 20 years, the 40 the buffalo gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back and the 10 the dog gave back, that makes 80 years, Okay?”

“Okay” said Wakan Tanka, “but remember, you asked for it”.

So that is why for our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy ourselves.

For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grand children.

and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone that comes our way.

So now, Life has been explained to you. Live long and prosper and look forward to your barking years ahead.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, the  satisfaction i get, in informing my fellow man with wisdom and information, is enough.

lol enjoy

Men Are Just Happier People– What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.

New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.  Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Send this to the women who can handle it  and to the men who will enjoy reading it .

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was ‘Onestone’.  He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
‘If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!’

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.  Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, ‘Good morning, Onestone.’

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he
Made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird’s cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, ‘Good to see you, Onestone.’

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made
love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the
next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn’t die!

What is the moral of this story????? you ask !

OH, Come on…take a guess!

Think about it…………

(You’re going to love this!)

Very simply, the moral is………………

YOU CANT KILL 2 BIRDS WITH ONE STONE

A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one
Look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window.

He immediately told her to get undressed. After she disrobed the
Doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he
Asked her,  “Do you know what I am doing?”

“Yes,” she replied, “You are checking for abrasions or
Dermatological abnormalities.”

“That’s right,” said the doctor. He then began to
Fondle her breasts.  “Do you know what I am doing now?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, “You are checking for lumps which might indicate
Breast cancer.”

“Correct,” replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual
Intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I am doing now?”

“Yes,” she said,  “You’re getting herpes: which is why I came here in
The first place.”