Through Skys Eyes

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old
Lady: I am 76 years old. Defence Attorney: Will you tell us,
in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on
my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man
comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him? Little Old Lady: No, but
he sure was friendly. Little Old Lady: He started to rub my
thigh. Defence Attorney: Did you stop him? Little Old Lady:
No, I didn’t stop him. Defence Attorney: Why not? Little
Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert
died some 20 years ago. Defence Attorney: What happened
next? Little Old Lady: He began to touch my breasts. Defence
Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little Old Lady: No, I
certainly did not! Defence Attorney: Whyever not? Little Old
Lady: His touching made me feel all alive and excited. I
haven’t felt that good in years! Defence Attorney: What
happened next? Little Old Lady: Well, I was feeling so
’spicy’ that I just laid down and told him ‘Take
me, young man. Take me now!’ Did he take you? Little Old
Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, ‘April Fool!’ And
that’s when I shot him, the little bastard.

Have a fabulous STRESS FREE day!!!!

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their arses. The results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their arse is too fat……….

10% of women think their arse is too skinny…….

The remaining 60% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s a good man, and they wouldn’t trade him for the world.

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Marketing - Its all in the words.. lol

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

‘Dr. Jones, at your cervix.’

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In a Podiatrist’s office:

‘Time wounds all heels.’

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

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On a Plumber’s  truck:

‘We repair what your husband fixed.’

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On another Plumber’s truck:

‘Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.’

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On a Church’s Bill board:

‘7 days without God makes one weak.’

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At a Tyre Store

‘Invite us to your next blowout.’

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On an Electrician’s truck:

‘Let us remove your shorts.’

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In a Non-smoking Area:

‘If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.’

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On a Maternity Room door:

‘Push. Push. Push.’

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At an Optometrist’s Office:

‘If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.’

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On a Taxidermist’s window:

‘We really know our stuff.’

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On a Fence:

‘Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!’

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At a Car Dealership:

‘The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.’

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Outside a Car Exhaust Store:

‘No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.’

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In a Vets waiting room:

‘Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!’

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In a Restaurant window:

‘Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.’

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

‘Drive carefully. We’ll wait.’

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And don’t forget the sign at a

RADIATOR SHOP:

‘Best place in town to take a leak.’

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Sign on the back of yet another

Septic Tank Truck:

‘Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises’

Well enjoy todays funnys… Check back tomorrow for more.

Hey everyone, as we all know breast cancer is a serious topic.  I currently have a good friend of mine going through all her testings, but thank goodness its benign.

But with all the crap we go through as women, why cant we just control the world .. just a little..

well if we did, i guess it might be a little something like this:

send this to any of your friends. Dont forget, Breast Cancer is serious but you have better chances when you find it early. check yourself every few weeks, get your partner to check to .. sometimes two hands are better than one.